Goblins

10 fun facts about Goblins

1. H O R S E HATE: Goblins excel at riding animals , but
they don’t quite get hor s e s . In fact, their hatred
of all things hor s e i s matched only by their fear
of hor s e s , who tend to step on goblins who get
too clo s e .
2. D O G H AT E : Although goblins rai s e horrible ratfaced
creatures called (creatively enough) goblin
dogs to use as mount s , and ride wolves or worgs if
they can get them-goblins are quick to explain
that wolve s are NOT dogs-their hatred of plain
old dogs nearly matches their hatred of hor s e s .
T h e feeling is mutual. If your dog’s barking a t the
woodpile for no reason, chances are he smells a
frightened goblin hiding in there s omewhere.
3. G O B L I N S RAID JU N KYARDS: Garbage pits, gutters,
sewers-anywhere there’s garbage, you can bet
goblins are nearby. Goblins are weirdly adept at
crafting weapons and armor from refuse, and are
fond of killing people with what they throw away.
4. G O B L I N S LOVE TO S I N G : Unfortunately, as catchy as
their lyrics can be, goblin songs tend to be i’ bit too
creepy and disturbing to catch on in polite society.
5. THEY’RE S N EAKY: An excited or angry goblin is a
noisy, chattering, toothy menace, but even then, he
can drop into an unsettling silence in a heartbeat.
This, matched with their diminutive size, makes
goblins unnervingly adept at hiding in places you’d
never expect: stacks of firewood, rain barrels, under
logs, under chicken coop s , in ovens . . . .
6. THEY’RE A LITTLE CRAZY: The fact that goblins think of
things like ovens as good hiding places reveals much
about their inability to think plans through to the
most likely outcome. That, and they tend to be easily
distracted, particularly by shiny things and animals
smaller than them that might make good eating.
7. T H EY ’ R E VORAC I O US: Given enough supplies , a
goblin generally takes nearly a dozen meals a day.
Most goblin tribes don’t have enough supplies to
accommodate such ravenous appetites, which is why
the little menaces are so prone to going on raids .
8. T H EY LIKE FIRE: Burning things is one o f the great
goblin pastimes, although they’re generally pretty
careful about lighting fires in their own lairs,
especially since goblins tend to live in large tangled
thistle patches and sleep in beds of dried leaves and
gras s . But give a goblin a torch and someone else’s
home and you’ve got trouble.
9. THEY GET S T U C K EAS I LY: Goblins have wiry frames
but wide heads. They live in cramped warrens .
Sometimes t o o cramped.
10. GOBLINS BELIEVE WRITING STEALS YOU R SOUL: The walls
of goblin lairs and the ruins of towns goblins have
raided are littered with pictures oftheir exploits. They
never use writing, though. That’s not lucky. Writing
steals words out of your head. You can’t get them back.

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Goblins

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